CRICKET GREAT PLEADS FOR VEGAN DIET

Greg Chappell, recently selected as India's national cricket coach, has teamed up with PETA to plead that Indians no longer consume eggs, meat and dairy products:

"I gave up red meat at the same time as I gave up dairy foods," Chappell said in a statement.

"I had been showing all the symptoms of lactose intolerance. Within days of giving up milk and cheese, these symptoms disappeared."

"We are the only species of animal on earth that still consumes milk products after being weaned."

"To make things worse, we do not even consume our own milk products but get them from another kind of animal.

"Dairy milk is a perfectly balanced food for calves but for nothing else. It does contain certain nutrients, but it also contains things which do us much more harm than the nutrients do us good."

The PETA release did not say if Chappell intended to convert the Indian players into vegans.

We're also the only species that eats Szechuan beef and I'm not giving that up either. I do admit, however, to feeling a twinge of guilt at drinking cow's milk. What we need is a few Pamela Anderson types that can produce like Lucy.

For those not familiar with Chappell, he will be forever famous for this.