CHINESE AMBASSADOR: TRUST ME, I NO FU YING YOU

Seriously, Fu Ying, China's ambassador to Australia says fugitive Chinese diplomat Chen Yonglin, who has been in hiding since leaving the Chinese consulate in Sydney 11 days ago, has nothing to fear should he return to China:

"China has moved on, it's not the 1970s, China's not behind a bamboo curtain," said Madame Fu.

"I don't see there is any reason he could face jail because there is no civil crime in his behaviour. He hasn't committed a civil crime, I don't know why he would be in jail."

Jeez, that has to rank right up there with "your cheque's in the mail" and "of course I won't cum in your mouth". FU Mme. Fu.