PORK, THE VERSATILE MEAT

Glow in the dark pork chops are causing a stir in Sydney:

MEAT and chicken that glow in the dark will not make you sick but it is probably best not to eat them, the NSW Food Authority said today.

The authority today reassured consumers about the safety of their food after a Sydney talkback caller raised the alarm about his glow-in-the-dark pork chops.

NSW Food Authority directory-general George Davey said a harmless micro-organism called pseudomonas fluorescens was responsible for the luminous meat.

Being the environmentally aware sort of a guy I am, the possibilities of glowing pork chops were immediately obvious. I mean, it is a worry that that little light in fridge comes on every time the door is opened, day or night. Put a few of the glowing chops in your fridge, take out the bulb and you'll have an emissions friendly fridge. And, just think of the money you'll save on power.

The Yanks could also pack 155 mm artillery shells with parachute attached glowing pork chops as a replacement for that nasty old skin-melting white phosphorous. I'll bet nothing will get a terrorist out of his spider-hole faster than a glowing piece of pork.