TORTURE TACTICS REVEALED

Unnamed sources have revealed the ghastly "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques" supposedly being used by CIA interrogators on a dozen or so top al Qaeda prisoners:

In "Belly Slap," interrogators deliver "a hard open-handed slap to the stomach" intended to cause pain but not internal injury.

In "Long Time Standing," prisoners are forced to stand handcuffed and shackled for more than 40 hours.

Okay, the water boarding thing sounds pretty nasty but no one's getting the extra rough manicure or Marathon Man style unanaesthetized dental treatment.