FIREFIGHTERS GUILTY OF TORCHING

After a three month investigation four British firefighters have been disciplined for "shining torches on to a group of people believed to be involved in sexual activity" in a public place. Naturally, the firefighters will be required to attend an anti-discrimination conference. Those alleged to have been engaging in illegal public sexual activity have not been charged because the matter was not brought to the attention of police.

The inmates are running the asylum.