Kiddie criminals stage arson attack

Three youngsters aged eight and nine have torched a car using turpentine stolen from a backyard shed as an accelerant. They also trashed two other vehicles and a children's play house. The pertinent question asked by police:

Where were their parents while all this was going on?

Oh come on, expecting parents to be responsible for their children is a bit much. Anyway, the tykes weren't meant to be torching a car, they were sent to the bottle shop on a booze-stealing mission. Kids today just aren't reliable.