Clubbing cane toads cruel

In an effort to halt the relentless spread of the dreaded bufo marinus – cane toads recently reached the outskirts of Darwin – David Tollner, Federal Liberal Member for Solomon in the Northern Territory has proposed the effective but messy toad eradication strategy he used as a child:

"We hit them with cricket bats and golf clubs and the like," he said.

"Back then things were a bit different, most kids had a slug gun or an air rifle and we'd get stuck into them with that sort of stuff."

This has, of course, prompted a response from the toad rights types:

The chief executive of the RSPCA in Darwin, Fiona Cummins, says bludgeoning them to death is inhumane and sends out the wrong message.

"We don't want children picking up their golf club or their cricket bat in the backyard and having a go at any animal."

She fears encouraging children to attack cane toads will result in attacks on a range of other animals.

"We're concerned that children see it's OK to be violent toward to any animals... to cats and dogs and rabbits and whatever might become a violent issue for children."

It has been suggested that the nasty little critters be dispatched by putting them in the freezer. Yeah right, lets fill up our freezers with poison oozing, pissy toads.

This is just silly. Kids understand violence and its consequences; if not they'd employ the violence they constantly see on TV and at the movies, and would be killing each other on playgrounds in droves. The kids should be educated on the danger the toads present to the Australian environment and then turned loose to kill. There's no way killing hideous, poisonous toads will cause kids to kill fluffy little kitties or bunnies. And, just think how many calories the ever-fatter kiddies would burn up while thumping toads. Get fit, thump a toad.

I'll bet a corporate sponsor could be convinced to provide some small reward for X number of carcasses handed in – hell, I'd be out there swinging a club myself if I knew McDonald's would give me a small fries for every five corpses submitted. Hey, McDondald's could even give away a free toad masher – call it the McClub – with every Happy Meal.

Now, for some real fun, if only I had a cane toad and a cherry bomb ...

Update: Here's an idea, cane toad golf. Unlike regular golf, high score, based on the number of toads obliterated per round, wins.

The creative cane toad snuffing possibilities are almost endless.