WHO TO CALL WHEN YOU WANT TO GET LAID

The government. Jurgen, a disabled Belgian, is hooked on prostitutes and wants the government to pick up the tab:

Every month for the past six years prostitutes have come to the house for Jurgen. They charge 100 euros for half an hour. Jurgen finds one session a month inadequate. He wants sex at least once a week, but his mother cannot pay that much. Jurgen and his Mum are now demanding that the government subsidize the sex sessions, but the Fund for the Social Integration of the Handicapped only finances masturbation equipment, including vibrators and pumps, for the handicapped in Belgium, but not prostitutes.

“My son cannot masturbate, but he is entitled to have sex at least once week,” Frie Van Acker says. “Giving him a free masturbation set does not help. He cannot use it. As I am his mother I cannot assist him there. That would almost be incest.” Jurgen and his mother have gained the support of Dr. Bo Coolsaet, a well-known Belgian sexuologist. “The healthcare system provides for inflatable penis prostheses for men with erection problems. These cost up to 10,000 euros.” According to Dr. Coolsaet handicapped people are being discriminated if their sexual needs are not adressed.

Why the hell should the government pay for this guy to get laid more often than me?