GREER SEEKS ATTENTION BY BAD-MOUTHING STEVE IRWIN, AGAIN

The National Portrait Gallery has replaced this photo of Germaine Greer with this photo of Steve Irwin. Greer isn't miffed, not even a little:

It is of course disgraceful that it has taken the Australian national portrait gallery six months to get round to exhibiting any portrait of Steve Irwin. Indeed, if the photographer Robin Sellick had not given them one free of charge in December, there would still be no likeness of this most famous Australian at the gallery. Sellick's picture was taken at Australia Zoo with a female elephant called Siam; with his right hand Irwin is doing something invisible to the captive animal, who, according to the gallery's statement, was waiting to make her daily appearance before the crowds as part of the entertainment at Australia Zoo. With a bare 15 minutes for the shoot, Sellick, who usually takes a whole day, could only keep snapping, hoping to get the kind of perversely suggestive image for which he is famous. As Siam became more restless, Sellick besought Irwin to show his vulnerable, caring side, which Irwin did by tilting his head and simpering. His left thumb is hooked rather coyly in a pocket; his lime-green shirt is undone to the fourth button, and pulled open to display his bosom in a manner not altogether manly.

Yep, Irwin's furry chest holds no allure for Greer, who finds the hairless unmuscled chests and lipsticked-lips of young boys infinitely more sexy. Regardless, it was very nice of photographer Sellick to honour Irwin by donating the photo to the National Portrait Gallery -- more of Sellick's "perversely suggestive images" are here.

Greer concludes her latest attention seeking rant -- what better way to draw attention than by having another go at an Australian icon who can't fight back? -- by reaffirming her earlier hatchet job on Irwin (who had yet to be buried):

What I said has now also been said by naturalists and conservationists writing in the dedicated press but still I'm the one who gets the death threats. As Australia gradually morphs into California, it is losing its respect for honesty and directness. Ballyhoo rules, and it's not OK.

Funny, I don't recall any naturalists or conservationists claiming Irwin's death was the fitting revenge of the animal world or making fun of him for being invited by the Prime Minister to a barbecue for President Bush. Greer's an embarrassment to Australia.

I only wish Irwin was still around; it would be great to see him wrestle reptile Greer to the ground, duct tape her jaws, hogtie her, shove her into a wooden crate and haul her away for release in a shit-swamp populated by similarly venomous creatures -- I'm thinking Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer.