ISRAEL FIELDS NUCLEAR WEAPONS

Israel, perceiving that it isn't causing itself enough PR damage by drenching Gaza with white phosphorus, which, by the way, burns hotter than the surface of the sun and like those trick birthday candles has an inextinguishable flame, is now using nuclear weapons on Palestinians. This sickening revelation comes from Norwegian medical doctor Mads Gilbert, who you might remember in 2006 exposed Israel's use in southern Lebanon – denied by the IDF, of course – of experimental LIME (lard impregnated Muslim exploder) bombs, which consume targets (mostly women and children) in a supersonic jet of super-heated nanotech particles of a super-secret plutonium/lard alloy. Only later, when the particles were examined under an electron microscope by scientists at the Palestinian Institute of Media Promotions, was it revealed that each and every tiny speck had been micro-forged using advanced Israeli nuclear weapons technology so as to bear an uncanny likeness to a Danish cartoonist's caricature of Mohammed. The very few to survive a LIME blast would perhaps be better off dead, reporting as they do a serious long-term aftereffect: savage cravings for pork crackling.

Israel's use of nuclear weapons comes up during a Democracy Now! segment on the possible use of banned and experimental weapons in Gaza. Lunatic lefty Gilbert, recently returned from Gaza, admits that none of his many Palestinian patients was injured by burning phosphorus, claiming instead to be reliably informed that other doctors had treated such victims. He also speculates that Israel is using experimental DIME (dense inert metal explosive) bombs on hapless Palestinian test subjects. The interview is by then falling flat so he spices things up by saying DIMEs are classified as nuclear weapons by the EU Commission on Nuclear Matters(!?). The interview is worth watching to see the contrast between Gilbert's ravings and the entirely sensible views of Marc Garlasco of Human Rights Watch.