SADDAM PUTS NOOSE AROUND OWN NECK, WILL PULL LEVER

Saddam Hussein again used his trial as an opportunity to grandstand, today claiming he has been tortured:

"I want to say yes we were beaten up ... we were beaten up by Americans and we were tortured, every one of us."

"This man when he gets up, he has to hold the railing because he was beaten badly by rifle butts on his back."

Jeez, I'd be disappointed if old Saddam hadn't been smacked around at least a bit.

Saddam should have shut up at this point but megalomaniacs just don't know when to stop:

"When I hear that any Iraqi has been hurt it hurts me too."

"The wrongs that were done to those people were wrong and, according to law, those who did it should get what they deserve."

The prosecution can now rest its case... and buy some rope.

Update: realizing he will soon meet his maker, Saddam continues to discover his underlying faith in Allah:

After greeting the court with a traditional "Peace be upon you," he sat quietly in the defendants' area and appeared to pay close attention to the proceedings, at times taking notes.

Later on, Saddam, interrupting al-Haidari, asked the judge if the court could take a break for prayer. Though the witness agreed, the judge ordered the trial to continue. About 10 minutes later, Saddam swung his chair to the left, closed his eyes and repeatedly bowed his head in what appeared to be about a minute-long prayer, the first time he has done that in court.

Saddam may be an evil old man but he's not stupid:

The trial’s chief prosecutor said that if American-led multinational forces were abusing the former Iraqi leader, he would be transferred into the custody of Iraqi troops.

“Yes I have been beaten, everywhere on my body. The marks are still there,” Saddam told the court without saying who allegedly beat him. “And I’m not complaining about the Americans because I can poke their eyes with my own hands.”