IRANIAN SCIENTISTS WORKING ON SUPER-STRENGTH DISINFECTANT

Iranian political analyst Hosein Rouyvaran describes the extremely successful 1940s German disinfection program that inspired Iranian scientists:

For hygienic reasons, they used to burn the bodies of those who died of typhus or contagious diseases. This means the crematoria were used for hygienic, not political, purposes, and even this was not systematically. That's one thing. The crematoria... The gas chambers were for disinfecting the clothes and the possessions of the prisoners. This too was done for hygienic reasons.

Iranian operatives are hard at work obtaining the necessary materials for the planned super-disinfectant:

The Iranian government has been successfully scouring Europe for the sophisticated equipment needed to develop a nuclear bomb, according to the latest western intelligence assessment of the country's weapons programmes.

Owing to scientific advances the Iranian disinfection program will be much more efficient than its German predecessor: those requring disinfection won't need to be transported to a disinfection facility; the disinfectant will be delivered to them:

The next generation of the Shahab ("shooting star" in Persian) should be capable of reaching Austria and Italy.

Ain't it great the Iranians are equipping themselves to handle a European infestation needing to be snuffed out. What are neighbours for, eh?

But this seems like overkill if it's meant to be used on bird flu. Maybe in a pinch it could be used to solve the region's annoying pig and monkey problem.