Hot as Hell

Don't you just absolutely hate it when it's oppressively hot and some idiot hits you with this conversation starter. "Hot enough for ya?"

Nah, I won't be happy until my feet burst into flames walking from the carpark to the beach. Moron.

Then there are those who, when it's cool and we're getting life-giving rain, recite the sun-worshipper's mantra: "I can't wait for summer!" Yeah, I can hardly wait for summer, when, if the car has been parked in the sun, asbestos gloves must be donned before grabbing the steering wheel.

According to the Bureau of Meteorology it's currently 42º C (107.6º F), which should be hot enough for anyone. Luckily the humidity is low so it's not really unpleasant. Working up a sweat when it's hot and dry is actually quite invigorating, sort of like being in a huge outdoor sauna. But it looks like there will be no sea breeze today so it's going to be quite warm overnight which means it'll be time to get the fan cranking - I have air-conditioning but with the cost of electricity it's too expensive to run except in emergencies. Then there's always a cold shower or a quick trip to the beach for a cool down.

The poor dogs, unable to sweat, are really dragging at the moment. They're collapsed in the shade and aren't taking any notice of the yahoos running around in the street trying to induce sunstroke.

Funny how fair-skinned Australians strip off as many clothes as possible when it's hot while darker-skinned people, Middle Easterners for example, aim to expose as little skin as possible to the sun. Mad dogs and Englishmen...

Anyway, there's no sense in complaining; since the world appears to be warming we might as well make the most of it. I might make the most of it by stripping off every stitch; no doubt my loved ones will be pleased. By the way, if you've never done it, there's nothing quite like sitting in a leather recliner when naked, hot and sweaty. My family has threatened to burn the chair but I don't think they'll actually do it. But if it gets much hotter there's a good chance the furniture will spontaneously combust, with me in it - I'm told I'm really hot, for my age.