THE GREAT MARMALADE SHORTAGE OF '06

To give credit where it's due, the intellectual lefties at Larvatus Prodeo pretty much have all current issues covered.

Phil doesn't like Bush - The formerly drunk, deeply unpopular and self delusional President of the United States.

Naomi moans about Cyclone Larry's devastation of Queensland's banana crop - Bloody bananas are going to cost a bloody fortune for the best part of a year.

Chris Sheil thinks Australia's Workplace Minister is Ioseb Dzhugashvili reincarnated - In aggregating all power to himself to overturn anything that workers and employers in this country might agree to, is there not a sense in which Comrade Andrews is himself, as Combet has said, "setting himself up as Stalin"...

Ron's toast will remain forever ungarnished - What motivated me for the post yesterday was the loss of Rose’s Old English Marmalade. This is made by Cottee’s and it was the Cottee’s customer desk that told me Coles won’t stock it any longer.

Hang on a minute, Ron's gotten himself confused – here's how he originally voiced his concern at being unable to find the foods he wants:

This has been happening a lot to me lately so I started ringing the food manufacturers to find out what's going on.

Three have now told me, two in a roundabout fashion and one directly, that they are no longer manufacturing a particular product because of Coles & Woolworths. They said if these two chains won't stock a product then there is no point in making it anymore.

There then ensued a Coles-and-Woolworths-are-evil commenting vent-fest. You know, about how the majors crap on customers and are trying to take over the planet.

Regardless, it could just be that Rose's Olde English Marmalade isn't very popular – it certainly didn't do all that well when tested by Choice. Maybe the Australian Consumers' Association is part of a conspiracy against Ron.

Anyway, if Rose's Olde English is still available, Ron should take Coles' advice to customers wanting items not stocked:

Can I request specific products to be stocked at my local store?

Yes, just ask your local Store Manager. If the product is readily available in the market place it will be sourced and stocked.

Nah, if Ron did something like that he'd be marking himself a trouble-maker and setting himself up for a midnight visit from hired marmalade heavies.

Look, I realise that the availability of a particular brand of marmalade is of no importance in the cosmic scheme of things. What is important is that lefties continually moan about the evils of capitalism but consistently misrepresent the situation. Nice try though, Ron.