Thursday, March 17, 2011

Al Qaeda goes glossy

In an effort to be relevant to the modern Islamist female al Qaeda goes Cosmo:
The 31-page glossy, Al-Shamikha, which translates loosely as "The Majestic Woman", features a niqab-clad woman posing with a sub-machine gun on its cover.

Much like Elle or Cosmopolitan, it includes advice on finding the right man ("marrying a mujahideen"), how to achieve a perfect complexion (stay inside with your face covered), and provides tips on first aid and etiquette.

Alongside sisterly advice such as "not [to] go out except when necessary" and to always wear a niqab for protection from the sun, the magazine runs interviews with martyr's wives and praises those who give their lives in the name of the editors' interpretation of Islam. "From martyrdom, the believer will gain security, safety and happiness," it says.

For those readers not quite ready for such a drastic step, it argues the pros and cons of honey facemasks and lobbies against "towelling too forcibly".
What, nothing on the AK-47 as fashion accessory? And what about tips for suicide bomb-proof makeup for those females who want their detached head to look its best after detonation?


Anonymous Dan Lewis said...

Darling, do you think my bomb looks big in this?

2:54 AM  
Anonymous Chistery said...

I still chuckle at your 'Pop goes the Jihadi' lyrics. Perhaps you can submit that to the Letter of the Week section. You may win a prize - like an AK-47 ammo belt.

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to read the horoscope section

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Dan Lewis said...

THANK YOU Chistery.

I had forgotten all about that.

8:35 AM  

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